Your parent doesn't answer the phone and thinks it's broken? They may not have forgotten: they are overwhelmed. Four apps on the home screen, and the volume.
Yvan Keyna · Published on November 2, 2026
Before looking for another way to reach them, simplify the phone they already have: four apps on the home screen, the others removed from that screen, and the two volume buttons they know how to use. Your parent may not have forgotten how to use it: they are overwhelmed by information.
Question 1
“Of course, she thinks her phone is broken.” This is a granddaughter writing, about her 83-year-old grandmother.
For a few months, her grandmother has lived in a residence for older people, and she likes it there. But she no longer answers 80% of calls and messages: she no longer knows how to do it.
The family comes to see her without having been able to warn her, and finds her room empty: she is at an activity, or at the doctor's. Appointments are missed, because nobody could remind her of them.
She did not want a landline in her room. She loves letters, but a letter is no use when you need to reach her quickly. When she was asked how she could be reached, she answered that she did not know.
You call, and it rings into the void. You call back an hour later. Still nothing.
Yet you are not asking for much: to be able to reach her, tell her you are coming by, remind her of an appointment. To hear her voice.
And she tells you that it is the phone that does not work. She is not entirely wrong: for her, this device no longer works.
Question 2
The problem is that we put into their hands an object whose use is out of proportion.
Take a dictionary whose words were no longer in alphabetical order. What use would it be to you, if it took you an hour to find a word?
It may not be that your parent has forgotten how to use their phone. They are overwhelmed by information: icons everywhere, colors, text of every size.
It is not so much that the phone is complicated as that finding one simple thing in it is: the button they need, lost among everything else. After a few minutes, searching becomes exhausting, and stressful.
So it is not simply a question of age, dexterity or intelligence.
And of everything that clutters it, much is of no use to them. Your parent does not need social networks, or their emails.
Question 3
My answer to this granddaughter comes down to two words: simplify everything.
This is the advice I would write in red for every parent: whatever is of no use to them leaves the home screen.
Removing them from the home screen is not deleting them: they stay on the phone. Your parent only sees what they use, and their screen becomes more comfortable to look at.
Question 4
A simple iPhone: not the cheapest model, nor low-end equipment. Your parent deserves quality equipment.
Nor is it about choosing the latest phone out. It is about starting from their needs.
And the devices sold as designed for older people? Attractive on the label, they are often expensive, disconnected from your parent's simple needs, and limited.
The best technology is the one you have mastered yourself, because you pass on what you can do with ease.
If you do not know how to use a device every day, how could you explain it to them? Preferably choose a model you know, since you are the one who will explain it to them.
Question 5
The sound, precisely. My mother-in-law is 89. When she has a sound problem on her phone, in 99% of cases it is because she pressed the button that turns the volume down while holding the phone.
It is one of the first mistakes a parent makes with a phone. Holding it against their ear, they press the volume button and cut the sound during the call. Then they tell you they cannot hear anything.
Show them the two volume buttons, on the side. Let them try it themselves, several times, as many times as it takes.
Also tell them that they cannot break anything: they can press every button they like. When you are afraid of doing it wrong, you end up not touching anything.
Question 6
The phone or WhatsApp, and nothing else: tell the family and the friends who call them. WhatsApp, because their children, grandchildren and loved ones probably already use it.
And YouTube? For their pleasure. For a parent to use a technology, they must see an immediate benefit in it.
Do not look for apps, but for simple emotions. What do they need to talk to their grandson, to listen to their favorite music? Play them a song from their childhood.
If they click on the ads by mistake and lose their video, the ad-free subscription settles the matter.
Then come patience, repetition, routine. You are not born a teacher: you become one by moving forward with patience, by repeating.
If in six months they still do not know how to open YouTube, reassure them, encourage them, guide them gently.
What this does not do: I do not promise that they will pick up every call, or that no appointment will ever be missed again. And if they do not want this phone, nothing obliges you to force it on them “for their own good”: your parent is an adult, 👉 they have the right to refuse your suggestions.
I devoted a chapter of 👉 Help! Who's Going to Take Care of My Parents? to this question: “My Parent and Technology”.
The most concrete gesture takes a few minutes, as soon as you have their phone in hand: leave only four apps on the home screen, and show them the two volume buttons.
The small change lies there: stop believing they have forgotten, and remove what clutters their phone.
What you can gain from it: time and energy, calls that get through, appointments you can remind them of, visits you can announce.
What your parent gains: a phone they understand, the voice of their loved ones, and the pleasure of a song from their childhood.
This guide can be useful to the whole family, and to the friends who call them. You can pass it on to them, so that everyone uses the phone or WhatsApp.
And at your parent's, how many apps show on the home screen? Let me know: 👉 contact@help-editions.ca
Author: Yvan Keyna
| # | Fact cited | Link |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Devices and apps sold as designed for older people, limited; neither the latest phone out, nor a poor-quality phone; starting from their needs: the book, “My Parent and Technology” | 👉 Help! Who's Going to Take Care of My Parents? |
| 2 | The parent overwhelmed by too much information; the best technology is the one you have mastered; four to five apps at most, the others removed from the home screen without being uninstalled: the book, “My Parent and Technology” | 👉 Help! Who's Going to Take Care of My Parents? |
| 3 | The volume button pressed against the ear during the call; the fear of breaking something: the book, “My Parent and Technology” | 👉 Help! Who's Going to Take Care of My Parents? |
| 4 | WhatsApp, which the family already uses; an immediate benefit for the parent; patience, repetition and routine; you become a teacher as you go along; the parent is an adult, who has the right to refuse our suggestions: the book, “My Parent and Technology” | 👉 Help! Who's Going to Take Care of My Parents? |
When they say their phone is broken, they may not have forgotten how to use it: they are overwhelmed by information, icons everywhere, colors, text of every size. The button they need gets lost among everything else, and searching becomes exhausting. For them, the device no longer works.
Four apps visible on the home screen: phone, WhatsApp, YouTube, contacts. The others are removed from the home screen, without being deleted: they stay on the phone.
It is one of the first mistakes a parent makes with a phone: holding it against their ear, they press the volume button and cut the sound during the call. Show them the two volume buttons, and let them try it themselves, as many times as it takes.
Quality equipment, preferably a simple iPhone: neither the cheapest model nor the latest phone out. Devices sold as designed for older people are often expensive, disconnected from their simple needs, and limited. Preferably choose a model that you know how to use yourself, since you are the one who will explain it to them.
What takes the longest to come back after even a short period of immobility is almost never the joint that was operated on.
Read the guideInstead of looking for one more thing to do for your parent, look for one thing to do with them, meant for someone else.
Read the guideThe years of decision your parent no longer has, you still have: three often-neglected tests, daily movement, a routine rather than a goal.
Read the guide
Leave your email: the next game comes to you, no need to look for the QR code.